Prior to becoming a qualified counsellor (enabling membership of the Australian Counselling Association) I performed many professional roles (Engineering, Construction, IT, Project Management, Community projects, swim instructor) enabling a diverse range of clients to relate to me (and vice-versa). I am of retirement age but felt I have so much to give and hence entered counselling while I continue to teach and remain involved in many community areas. I provide a unique service that blends peer support/life experience with professional qualifications and techniques.
Why I became a counsellor:
1. Following my divorce I was alienated from my daughter. I eventually ran mens groups at Dads in Distress (and found women were attending). There was massive amounts of trauma with around half having high levels of suicide ideation (more about that below).
2. I have been teaching swimming for some time and taught kids with a plethora of conditions including ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder), ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), GDD (Global Developmental Delay), ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder), Selective Mutism (anxiety such they cannot speak in some settings), phobia’s along with physical conditions. I found because of my maturity, personality and background (I started swim teaching with Blind Children that had complex conditions including Cerebral Palsy etc and became AustSwim qualified in this area) was being allocated a disproportionate number of these children when running schools programs.
3. I had the opportunity to teach a lady that had been resuscitated (i.e. drowned) twice as a child (so had understandable aqua-phobia) and found I was able to help her become a good swimmer (was doing the counselling course at the time and reinforced what I was doing – see case study)
Running the separated parents groups
Many had suffered what is termed the perfect storm:
- No spouse
- As accused of Domestic Violence often shunned (especially when gaslit)
- Cannot see children
- Removed from home (often by police based upon later proven false allegations of Domestic Violence) so couch surfing.
- If work required to be armed (armed services, security, police) often stood down or dismissed.
- If were working often were mentally overloaded with trauma and litigation and dismissed for poor performance
- Bank accounts had been cleaned out (and often found spouses had maxed out credit cards)
- No money to fight the court battle to simply see their kids and be part of their lives.
- No hope (so to end the pain suicide seemed logical)
They were traumatised with high levels of suicide ideation.
One person on placement (had a Masters in Psychotherapy and getting his hours for a Masters of Counselling) watched me running the groups. He was astounded how easily I could tell a snippet of my background that related to the participants and gain immediate rapport with those in attendance along with my facilitation of the group dynamics which enabled me to help so many people.
I got involved with a National Organisation (Dads In Distress / Parents Beyond Breakup) and finished up on their board for 6 years and chairman for 3 years, asked to present in the Senate Meeting Rooms and at a Parliamentary inquiry. My continued association is now a mentoring role although moves have recently been made to reappoint me to the board.
Mothers that were not seeing their children were being shunned from traditional support services “if the mother was not seeing their children there must be something wrong with them and do not fit our demographic” yet they had simply been suffering from Parental Alienating Behaviours which we had experience handling. Many organisation (still) refuse to recognise Parental Alienation Behaviours even though it is now established science and countries are progressively legislating against a turning a child against the other “good enough” parent (as opposed to estrangement where the child justifiable rejects a parent as they are abusive etc). I did not turn these mother away and when men heard their stories realised “it is not just men” and we were able to help through with the psycho-therapeutic and psycho-educational processes.
My background is varied and can be seen on LinkedIn so able to related to a wide range of people. It was during the counselling practical session that one woman stated “out of all the counselling pracs Terry is incredibly calming”.
Hopefully we can relate to each other and I can help you!